Hiding out in Clemville
The tale is almost told, I’m sad to say. Our heroes are on the last, and most challenging chapter of their adventure. I hope you have enjoyed our time together, I know I have, but every story has an end. While I have many tales to tell this one is over, or will be as soon as I get to the end. Why do I always have to do this? Butting my head in where it doesn’t belong. There you are patiently reading my story, waiting (I hope) in eager anticipation for me to start the next thrilling and scary chapter, and all I can do is rattle on about how unhappy I am that the story is coming to an end. Oh gods, I’m doing it again. I really should have my head examined. That reminds me of the time I had to go visit Doc Headpull, it’s quite fun the way…lets save that from another time. I am proud to present to you the final chapter, not counting the end bit; I think they call it the epilogue. You know the bit where you visit with the surviving hero sometime after the event. (Did I just give something away, I hope not.) You know the post adventure interview and painting op. There I go again rattling away. Well without further ado or fan fair here it is. In fact as I took so long getting back to this chapter, the last, I’ll skip the whole walking through the snow bit and put them just outside Hardpassvil, I won’t even mention the Yeti. What was that? You want to hear about the Yeti. But I was trying to…never mind. I’ll tell you about the Yeti, but it’s not part of the story. The next chapter starts at Hardpassvil.
The Yeti is a big white gorilla looking thing. Our heroes met him about half way between the snow line and the village of Hardpassvil, when I say village I mean the place that has the Hardpassvil Inn, and nothing else that even vaguely looks like a village, but as the Inn has a pub in it, it is classed as a village in my book.
“Hello.” said the Yeti.
“Hello.” replied the four travellers.
“Have you seen Blinky my pet rabbit?” the Yeti asked.
“No.” they replied.
“Okay, if you see him, let him know I’m looking for him.” And he moved on calling for Blinky at the top of his voice.
Happy now, can we get to the next chapter or do you want me to tell you about Blinky and the Yeti. You do? Well I’m not going to, that’s another story. Okay all that junk I spouted earlier, go back and read the first two sentences and we’ll begin.
Hardpassvil
“All I’m saying is that it’s not right.” Brain said continuing their discussion as they walked towards the Inn.
“I’m telling you Brain it’s the right colour.” Tricks replied in exasperation. Opie and Siege were wisely not saying anything.
“I’ve seen it falling in Clemville, in fact I made a study on it, and it was never once this colour.”
“I swear Brain; you can be real stupid sometimes.”
“I take offence.” he replied. “Snow is either brown or yellow. Mostly brown when it falls, but growing yellowier the longer it stays on the ground.” Tricks shook her head. They were at the door to the Inn. She was hoping he wouldn’t bring up the subject again. She knocked and Derek Smith promptly answered it.
“Morning folks.” he said cheerfully. “What can I do for you this fine day?” Tricks looked around at the dark clouds, the ground covered in snow and felt the icy wind blowing on their backs. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t want to start Brain off with his whole theory on it not being possible for white snow to come from black clouds.
“Four rooms. Please.” Tricks said. “And maybe a nice place by the fire.”
“Certainly.” Derek replied. “If you could just sign in the book, I’ll go stoke up the living room fire. Could I offer you some of Mrs Smith’s pie? Lunch is still a ways off.” Tricks replied that that would be lovely. (She didn’t actually say lovely, she said it would be nice, but I thought she said it as if she meant to say lovely, but would never use that word.)
“Look at that.” Brain said after Derek had left. “The guy who stayed here before Johnson was called Da’Loose. What a weird coincidence.”
“I don’t think it is a coincidence.” Tricks replied. “Look at the date.”
“But that’s over two thousand years ago.” Brain said. Then he clicked. “Oh, I remember, the legend is about that old.”
“Let me see.” said Opie pushing past Brain. “He stayed in room 21a. I think one of us should stay there. Did you hear that?”
“Probably a bird landing on the roof.” Tricks, oh one of great hearing, said.
“Huh? No I mean when I said 21 hey.” The others looked at him blankly. “The clue! The word is pass, but you will stay till you’re 21 hey.” he quoted from memory.
“You memorized that?” Brain asked, as if it was a complete waste of brain space.
“Shut up Brain, I think Opie is onto something.” Tricks said, but didn’t get a chance to say anything more. Derek returned.
“The fire is ready and Mrs Smith is heating the pie.” He had learnt from past experience that you don’t mention what type of pie it was.
“Thank you.” Opie said. “Would it be possible for me to stay in room 21? I’m a little superstitious…” He let the sentence hang.
“We only have 21a, would that be all right?” Derek said looking in his room registry. He knew that only one person was staying in the inn, and he was in room 3, but as he had been told since he was old enough to read, ‘always check the registry, ten seconds now can save a lot of embarrassment and maybe a customer.’
“Yes, that would be perfect.” Opie replied.
“I’ll put the rest of your party in adjoining rooms if that suits you.” he added a sir in there somewhere. “If you would like to make your way to the lounge, I’ll send your luggage to your rooms.” He couldn’t see any luggage, but it was always polite to refer to dirty old sacks as luggage. They thanked him and went through to the lounge. They sat around the fire, warming their toes and raving about the pie.
“I hope the treasure is in the cellar here.” Brain said when he was sure they were alone. He couldn’t see Four with his ear to the closed door. He had seen them come in, and knew an opportunity when he saw one. “I don’t think I could go very far in this weather.”
“I wonder if there is a winter clothes store in the area?” Opie said moving closer to the fire. “These extremes in weather can’t be good for you.” They sat in silence for a few minutes then before anyone could say any more, Mrs Smith returned with a tray. On the tray were four glasses with an amber liquid in them.
“I ‘ave brought you a drop ‘o the good stuff.” she said. “Get this in ya belly and ya be glowing like a witchin’” They thanked her and each took a large mouthful, and nearly choked.
“Whiskey.” Opie said through his burning throat.
“Smooth.” Tricks said gruffly.
“Not bad.” Siege tried.
“Could use a drop of Stuart’s homebrew.” Brain said taking another sip.
“Ya will no be blending me finest with that Steward filth.” Mrs Smith said.
“Sorry ma’am.” Brain said suddenly recognizing her accent. “I meant no disrespect, it’s just that our heathen pallets are not up to such fine whiskey.” Brain was very proud of his recovery. Mrs Smith huffed, but brought them a second round. They all felt warmer. Derek returned and told them their rooms were ready.
“I have lit a fire in each, but please feel free to use the lounge as long as you like. Unfortunately all the outdoor activities are cancelled due to weather.” He pulled a flyer from his pocket and read. “We are pleased to announce the reopening of the Hardpassvil Inn. Oh, you already know that.” He cleared his throat and scanned down the page. “Ah, here we are. Indoor activities include adventure billiards, crossbow darts, cards, fire warming and whiskey tasting. Please ask management, that’s me, for any equipment you require. Hope to see you…that’s it really.” he finished, putting the flyer in his pocket.
“I haven’t played crossbow darts since we left the Swill.” Brain said. “Up for a game Opie?”
“Nah.” Opie replied. “I think
I’ll try the fire warming.”
“I’ll play you.” Tricks said.
“Siege?” he tried. She shook her head. “Okay Tricks, but we’re not playing for money again, and you use your left hand and stand twice the distance, blind folded.” He still lost, badly. (Crossbow darts is one of my favourite games, but as it is only found in a few places, I should probably explain it to you. You shoot three miniature arrows into a board using a miniature one-handed crossbow. The board has numbered wedges around it. The goal is to either get the highest score after a predetermined number of shots or to count to twenty, one number at a time.) They had a go at the Whiskey tasting, but Brain lost at that as well. They had more pie for lunch, and then retired to their rooms.
“Let me see.” Opie said trying to get a look at the map. “I don’t think so Brain. I think that we have to come here for another clue.”
“But if you really focus it looks like it’s right on top of the dot.” Brain tried again. He was trying to prove that the dot showed that the treasure would be found in the attic of the building they were staying in.
“No, I think it’s to do with this room, the clue mentioned this room, and something about a pass.”
“Could have been he didn’t finish the word. He meant to say passage to the attic.” Brain tried again.
“Forget the attic, Tricks hit him if he says attic one more time.” Opie said starting to get cross.
“I was thinking the same thing. Come on Brain make my day.” Brain sat scowling on the bed and watched the others.
“What about this lost box?” Opie said, looking at the second clue. “I wonder how we’re going to find that?”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Siege said.
“I’m actually starting to worry that this whole thing is a hoax.” Opie said un-expectantly.
“What do you mean?” Tricks asked.
“Well.” he started, cleared his throat and shook his head. “I’ve been thinking about it. Let’s look at the facts. Da’Loose took the treasure and disappeared. Either he spent it or he was robbed and murdered. I can’t think of another explanation for why we haven’t heard of him since. Then all of a sudden we had a map, with clues, a box, a medallion and all the things we don’t know we need yet. So if one of the two fates I mentioned is right, how did they come into being?” The others stared at him for a few seconds and then swore.
“He right, we’re being conned.” Tricks was the first to speak, but the others shared her sentiment. “I’ll kill the bastard if I find him.”
“Um.” Brain said. “Where does the map lead if not to the treasure?”
“My guess is it goes round and round in circles.” Opie said. “We’ll find this lost box and it will have another map with more clues and so on and so on.”
“So you mean we won’t find the treasure?”
“No, I think we’ve be conned.”
“I need a drink.” Brain said feeling weak. “We risked our lives for nothing, just someone’s cruel idea of a joke.”
“The only thing I can think about is getting smashed.” Tricks said. “Let’s get drunk tonight, and we can start heading for home tomorrow.” They all agreed.
The End