Chase has been ringing and texting me constantly. Tonight my mother is going out with Ted and Chase is coming over. This is the first time we are actually spending time alone and I feel a wave of excitement wash over me.
I have avoided Ayden and Becks. Although I do feel as if I have been abandoning Ali. I like Ali, she is such a great friend. I also enjoy spending lunch with Chase and his friends. Maybe next week I could invite her to have lunch with us and bring her over to the dark side. That's what Becks described Chase's group once.
I apply a little more lip gloss just as my mother enters my room. She actually looks classy in a back cocktail dress. Ted is taking her out for a meal to celebrate their one month anniversary. I can't believe she has actually stayed with one person that long.
“We will be off in a few minutes” she smiles, taking a seat on my bed. “Wow, you look beautiful, honey.”
I have to admit I do, it’s as if overnight dresses and make-up have become my best friends. I think it was the beach that gave me more confident. I actually like the way I look at the moment and Chrissy has been giving me a lot of tips on hair and make-up. I feel like a whole new person, and I am actually looking forward to shopping with Chrissy at the weekend. I am going to buy my first ever dance dress. Everything feels new and exciting.
“I love that shade of eye shadow” she points to my smoky eyes. “On serious matter” she sits up straight and her voice sounds more authorizing. “Sex!” My eyes widen and I feel the heat in my face.
Is she seriously going to have this talk to with me? I shouldn't complain. I have waited and prayed for months she would turn back into my mother.
“What about it?” I sigh, as I put my things away. I am just playing along as I don't want to hurt her feelings. I like her like this and I am really happy Ted came along when he did. He has been a breath of fresh air for her. I can't even think of her being that selfish, uncaring person again.
“I'm not going to explain ins and outs as I think you already know about babies and protection. However, I do want you to know that it is completely up to you. Don't let him put pressure on you and insists he wears something.”
I move over to my mum and I actually hug her. I haven't hugged in over a year. I feel my eyes welling up. I have missed her and its times like this I think about my father. I wonder what he would of thought about Chase. Would he of had the father talk with him?
“Thank you” I kiss her on the cheek. “Chase is a nice boy and won't rush me into anything.”
My mother raises a perfect eyebrow and gives me the 'yeah right' look. “All boys seem nice to start with. They have one thing on their mind and before you know it, you're pregnant, playing house and they are lying to you.”
I stand up straight and take a good look at her. She is staring a head and blinking back tears. Her last words play in my head... 'They are lying to you.” What did she mean? I can't let this lie.
“Did Dad lie to you?”
She gives a little laugh and shakes her head. “They all lie, honey. It’s in their DNA.”
“Does Ted lie to you?”
“No” she says with a huge smile on her face. “Ted is in a different league.” She slowly stands up and places a hand on my shoulder. “Just keep one step ahead.”
I watch as she walks out and my thoughts are confused. Is that why we left my father? Did he lie to her? I try to think back to before we left and once again it’s blank. I have this undying urge to question her further, find out exactly why we are in Summerton. She looked so sad as she thought about him. Is there a chance she still loves him? Did she want to leave him? I guess I will never know as I never want to see her pained expression again.
Chase arrived ten minutes after my mother left with Ted. My mother has excelled herself, she has thought of everything; movies, pizza, popcorn and soda. I am feeling very nervous as me and Chase take our places on the sofa. I can't bear to make eye contact with him, I stare down at my hands and we sit in silence.
“I like your dress, Jen” his voice is shaky and I wonder if he is nervous too. He sits back on the sofa, reaches out for my hand and pulls me towards him. Now I can't help but look up at his beautiful face.
“There’s no need to be nervous around me” his voice is low and his eyes softly look down at me.
My heart thumps, blood rushes through my veins and I want nothing more than to kiss his soft moist lips. My hand moves up his chest, he flinches under my touch and my hand moves round to back of his neck. Our lips meet and a fire erupts inside of me. I love the way his fingers gently play in my hair and I love the way he smells.
I pull away, breathing heavily. I would love nothing more than to spend the next through hours kissing him, but my mother has made an effort. I jump up and grab the DVDs off the side. I spin round to face him and he is smiling at me, which melts my hand. How can anyone look that cute? I quickly gather myself and carry on with what I was doing.
“We have 21 Jump Street or” I raise an eyebrow at my mother's choice. “Magic Mike.” should have guessed she would pick them. She has a huge thing for Channing Tatum at the moment. Tell the truth both movies don't appeal to me.
Chase holds out his hand and I place the DVDs down. I make my way back to him gracefully, my hips swaying and place my hand in his. He pulls on my arm and before I know it, I am laying on the sofa underneath him. I look up into his blue eyes and I feel something I have never felt before. I like the weight of his body pressed against mine. There is a new desire for him and I feel myself licking my lip.
“Let’s not watch movies” he is almost growling as his lips crash on to mine. I gasp at the shock and his tongue enters my mouth. My hands grip hold of his shoulders and I feel myself falling deeper into his kiss. My own tongue moving against his and I swear he groans in my mouth.
I need more, my hand moves up the back of his shirt. I feel his back flex under my touch, his own hand reaches for my thigh and takes a firm grip. Our kiss becomes hungrier and I still need more. Even though we’re pressed together tightly, I feel there is still a barrier between us.
Without warning Chase sits up and runs his hands through his hair. I stare up at him blinking, wondering what made him stop. He looks back down at me and smiles.
“Sorry” he whispers. “I just want to take this slow and if we carry on...” He lets a little air out of his mouth. “I don't think I will be able to stop and I don't want you to think that is all your worth.”
I can't help the grin on my face as I sit up and adjust my dress. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him hard. “That's sweet of you, Chase.” At least one of us has some self discipline. I am still trying to gain my breath back and my mind is racing with new thoughts and feelings.
For the rest of the night we watch TV and innocently kiss and hug. Something has switched on inside me and kissing doesn't seem enough. Surely I am not ready to go further, mind wise no, body wise yes. That night I dream of bodies’ moulded together, heat and Chase. I swear once during my dream.... Ayden.