***
“Break up with him!” Hilton cried when Jill called her after hanging up from Lorylyn. “Jill, you have to call her back and tell her to break the hell up with him. Don’t tell her I said it if you don’t want, but please, please tell her!”
“Really?” Jill asked.
“Yes! Holy shit! He’s such an asshole! First of all, she shouldn’t wanna be with a guy who wouldn’t take her feelings into consideration at all, and what is this Brooke thing, anyway? It’s like it keeps coming back up over and over again! She should not stand for that! She keeps letting it slide, like at my birthday party, and the whole email thing....She needs to take a stand.”
“So just like break up with him to make a point and then get back with him?”
“Maybe...maybe not. This Brooke thing has gotta end. Break up with him and give him his freedom. Let him see what happens with Brooke. He’ll either get it out of his system once and for all, or he’ll start dating her. And then Lorylyn’ll have her answer either way.”
“Yeah, you’re totally right. How are you so good at this stuff?!”
“Well, it’s not that hard...I’d just never let a guy treat me like that! She has to stand up for herself.”
***
“But what if I end up losing him, Jill?” Lorylyn asked when Jill called her back and gave her Hilton’s advice, pretending it was her own.
“Well, then, at least you’ll know,” Jill said, trying to think quickly. She’d said everything Hilton had told her; it was harder thinking on her feet and making up her own advice. “I mean, honestly, would you rather be in a relationship with a guy who has this weird thing with another girl and is totally inconsiderate than be single? I think you’d be better off single.”
“Yeah...but I love him.” She said it simply, but her voice was thick with pain.
“I know,” Jill said softly, her tone losing some of its determination. “I know. I really don’t know what to tell you, Lorylyn. But are you really happy right now?”
Lorylyn hesitated. “No. Not after tonight. And I guess the email thing still bugs me a little too.”
“Then you have to do something about it. You love him, but you’re not happy with him? And don’t you want back what you had with him? If you let things keep going like they are, you won’t get that. You’re different, Lor! You’re not bouncy all the time like you always used to be! I mean, sometimes you are, but not as much as when you first got back with him last year. He’s ruining you! You can’t let that happen! I miss your bounciness! That’s who you are. And when you don’t have that anymore, something’s way wrong. And I think the only way to get him over this Brooke thing is to give him his freedom with her. And if he’s not tied down to you, he’ll be able to do whatever he wants with her. And hopefully he won’t do anything, but if he does, then there’s your answer. I’m so sorry, Lor...I know it’s so hard to let him go. But you can’t go on like you are right now.”
Lorylyn was silent for a moment, and when she spoke she sounded on the verge of tears again. “You’re right. You’re totally right. Am I really different? Agh! That totally freaks me out! What the hell has happened to me?!” She sniffled. “And I didn’t even realize till tonight how much that email thing still bothers me. I thought I was happy...ugh.” She paused. “Thanks so much, Jill. I really needed somebody to say that to me.”
“So are you gonna break up with him?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
“Aww...well, good luck, hon. You’re doing the right thing. Come talk to me right away, okay?”
“Okay.”
***
The next morning the baseball team met at seven to lift weights. Afterwards, as Brady left the locker room and headed into the gym lobby, he ran into Brooke.
“Hey,” she greeted him with a friendly smile.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Going to clean out my cheerleading locker. I never got a chance before spring break, so...”
“Oh...well it’s a definite no-go for prom. I said something to Lorylyn about it and she flipped.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” Brooke said, waving it away with her hand and laughing. “I never expected it to happen anyways. It would’ve been fun though...” She smiled at him again.
“Yeah. Okay...well, I’ll see ya later, I guess.”
“Later!” Brooke said cheerfully. As she turned and headed for the locker room, she smiled in satisfaction. She was going to play it totally cool this time, and Lorylyn was going to come off as the bitch. It seemed like it was already working, from what Brady had said. She could tell he was annoyed with Lorylyn. And he had actually asked Lorylyn about going with her...that meant he wanted to! One of her plans was finally working perfectly. And little did Lindy know, Brooke had her to thank for the idea.
***
As Brady exited the health hallway and turned toward his locker, Lorylyn ran up to meet him. She’d known he had baseball and had shown up early and waited for him. She was glad the hallways were still empty, and she knew she had to do it right away, before everybody met in the commons. She’d rehearsed over and over what she was going to say, and she’d barely slept last night. She was devastated. This was the last thing she wanted to do, but Jill was right...she wasn’t happy anymore, and she didn’t want to go on like this. Now her stomach was churning. She had to do it before she lost her nerve.
“Hey, Brady.” Her voice was unsteady.
Brady threw her a glance and kept walking as she joined him. “Hey, Lor.” He sounded tired and annoyed. His coldness made it easier.
“So I changed my mind about you going to prom with Brooke,” she said, staring at the floor and hugging her books as they walked. She really thought she might throw up. She prayed she’d make it through this.
Brady turned to look at her. “Really?”
He sounds happy, Lorylyn thought with disgust. Stupid asshole! “Yeah,” she said. “You can go to prom with her.” Suddenly she was furious. At this whole situation, at him for the way he had acted last night and the way he was acting now, at Brooke, at life. Her voice turned nasty. “You can do whatever you want with her. You can fuck her again, if you want. ‘Cause we’re done!” She spun on her heel and walked quickly back in the other direction, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears and hugging her books even tighter.
She heard Brady give an incredulous laugh. “Are you really fuckin’ serious? You’re breaking up with me ‘cause of this? Fine. Be a bitch.” He snorted again, then she heard him kick a locker.
Lorylyn broke into a run and didn’t stop until she was locked in a bathroom stall. She sobbed until there were no tears left, then pulled her feet up on the toilet seat so no one could see her legs. The bathroom was starting to get crowded.
“Is somebody in that last stall?” a girl asked. Lorylyn didn’t answer, and somebody pulled on the door. When it didn’t open, whoever it was went away.
Lorylyn sat silently, her head buried in her knees. When the one-minute bell rang, the bathroom started to empty. Lorylyn waited until a couple minutes after the final bell, then came out and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked awful. She tried to arrange her hair so it fell more in front of her face, but it still didn’t come close to hiding her puffy red eyes. She’d have to wait awhile longer. There was no way she could go to class looking like this. She was just turning around to go back and wait in her stall so no one would come in and see her when Hilton and Jill burst into the bathroom.
“Lorylyn!” they cried. Seeing her face, they both ran to hug her. “We’ve been looking all over for you! What happened? Neither one of you guys came to the commons this morning!” They were both talking at once.
“He laughed at me,” Lorylyn said, and suddenly she was sobbing again. “He laughed and said, ‘Are you really fucking serious? Fine. Be a bitch.’ And then he kicked a locker.”
“Aww, hon, we’re so sorry,” Hilton said soothingly.
“Yeah, what an asshole! I’m so glad you’r
e done with him!” Jill said.
Finally Lorylyn lifted her head and wiped at her eyes. “Damn it, now I have to wait even longer before I can go to class,” she said, trying to laugh. “How’d you guys get out of class, anyway? Thanks for coming to find me.”
“Oh, we just didn’t even go to class yet,” Jill said.
“Yeah, we’re making that a trend this week,” Hilton said, referring to Monday in SRT when they’d gotten to Ms. Kirkwood’s room fifteen minutes late after Jill’s sobbing fit in the bathroom. They’d just told Ms. Kirkwood what had happened, and she’d been totally understanding about it. They wouldn’t be able to tell Mrs. Craft, their English teacher, about this though.
“Oh no! What are you guys gonna do?” Lorylyn asked, wiping her eyes some more. Hilton grabbed some toilet paper and handed it to her.
“Don’t worry, Ms. Kirkwood will write us a pass. She’ll write you one too.”
“Ms. Kirkwood?”
“Our myth teacher.”
“Oh, the one who lets you go in her room for SRT?” Jill and Hilton had told Lorylyn, even though they weren’t supposed to tell anyone. They had told Landon and Todd too.
“Yeah.”
“But she doesn’t even know me.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Hilton said. “She’ll write you a pass. She’s awesome.”
“Hey!” Jill said suddenly. “Hillary always carries makeup with her at school. If we could get her out of class, she’d be able to help you fix your makeup.”
“Does she know about this?” Lorylyn asked.
“No, we didn’t see her till we got to the commons, so we couldn’t tell her in front of everybody, and we weren’t even sure what happened,” Jill said.
“Was Brady at the commons?” Lorylyn asked quietly.
“No,” Hilton and Jill said together, their voices sympathetic.
It was silent for a moment. “Well, Hill’s in Algebra II, but how are we gonna get her out of class?” Lorylyn asked, her voice still filled with anguish.
“Um...okay. Who’s her teacher?” Hilton asked.
“Michaels,” Lorylyn said, looking at herself in the mirror and trying to wipe the mascara away from under her eyes.
“Okay. Jill, stay here with Lorylyn. I’ll go get Hillary and be back.”
“How are you gonna get Hillary?”
Hilton grinned. “With a pass from Ms. Kirkwood.”
Hilton rushed across the school to Ms. Kirkwood’s room, praying no one stopped her for being in the hall without a pass. When she reached the classroom, she peeked in. The students were working in groups and talking. She breathed a sigh of relief and slid into the room.
“Hey, Ms. Kirkwood,” she said, approaching her desk.
Ms. Kirkwood looked up from her computer screen and smiled. “Hi, Hilton! What’s going on?”
“Um...Jill and I have a little problem. Our friend, she broke up with her boyfriend this morning, and she’s in the bathroom crying. And Jill and I knew she was gonna break up with him, so we went all over looking for her to make sure she was okay, and so we just found her and talked to her, and so we haven’t been to class yet. But Lorylyn can’t even go to class, ‘cause she’s been bawling and her makeup’s all messed up.” Hilton paused and smiled wryly. “So we have this other friend, Hillary, who always keeps makeup with her. So is there any way you could write Hillary a pass so she can go help Lorylyn, and then you could write us all a pass to class?”
Ms. Kirkwood laughed, and Hilton breathed a sigh of relief. “What is it with you girls and crying in bathrooms?” She dug in a drawer for her passes. When she looked back at Hilton, her eyes showed concern. “Is Lorylyn gonna be okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. She’s just really upset ‘cause her boyfriend’s pretty much an asshole. Oh, sorry!” Hilton covered her mouth.
Ms. Kirkwood waved it away as she wrote out a pass. “Don’t worry about it. What’s Hillary’s last name?”
“Um, Andelin.”
“Okay. Here’s a pass for Hillary, and when you girls are all ready to go back to class, come back and get another pass. Here...take this so you don’t get in trouble in the hall.” She handed Hilton a teddy bear with a sign around its neck that read Ms. Kirkwood’s Pass.
“Aww, that’s cute. Thanks soooo much, Ms. Kirkwood.”
“No problem.”
As Hilton walked into Hillary’s Algebra II class a couple minutes later, she caught Hillary’s eye. Hillary gave her a weird look. Hilton walked to Mr. Michaels, who was standing at the board, and handed him the pass, then turned and walked back to the door.
“Hillary,” Mr. Michaels said as Hilton was leaving.
Hilton waited for Hillary in the hallway and explained the whole story as quickly as she could on the way back to the bathroom.
“Holy shit!” Hillary said. “I can’t believe him! What a fucking bastard! Oh, shit! I left my bag in there, and my makeup’s in it.”
“Oh! Well, go back and get it, and meet me in the bathroom. The one by the health hall.”
“Okay.”
Hillary rushed back to her classroom. When she walked to her desk, then picked up her backpack and turned to leave without sitting down, the whole class stared at her. “Sorry. Just needed my bag,” she said with a pretend embarrassed smile, then rushed out as fast as she could.
In the bathroom, Hillary helped Lorylyn fix her makeup. Lorylyn seemed to feel better for the moment, and finally they all headed to class, stopping by Ms. Kirkwood’s room first to get their passes.
“Thanks so much, Ms. Kirkwood,” Jill and Hilton called as they rushed back out of her room.
When Jill and Hilton got to English, the class was sitting around the room reading. They gave Mrs. Castle their passes, then joined Todd and Nick Castle by the window.
“Where the hell were you guys?” Todd asked.
“Talking to Lorylyn,” Jill said. “Her and Brady broke up.”
“What? Why?”
“ ‘Cause he’s an asshole,” Hilton said, and her tone said the conversation was over. Todd was smart enough not to ask anything else.
It was quiet for a moment, then Nick said, “So my mom asked if anybody knew where you guys were, and Todd goes, ‘I don’t know, I know they’re here; I just saw them in the commons right before school.’ ” He looked at Todd with a grin.
“Todd! Thanks a lot!” Jill said, laughing. Hilton smacked Todd on the arm.
“Dude, shut up. I wasn’t thinking, okay?” Todd laughed too, and Jill and Hilton opened The Scarlet Letter and began reading.
***
“Brooke!”
She turned from her locker at the sound of Brady’s voice. He was striding purposefully toward her. He stopped when he reached her, resting his hand above his head on the closed locker next to hers. “Wanna go to prom with me?”
“What?” Brooke was bewildered. “I thought Lorylyn said no.”
“Yeah, well, she came up to me right after I talked to you this morning and told me she’d changed her mind. Then she broke up with me.”
“What?! She broke up with you ‘cause of that?” Brooke was ecstatic and trying as hard as she could not to show it. Could it get any better than this?!
“Oh, yeah. She did. So you know what? Fuck her. I don’t even care. We’re gonna have an awesome time at prom, and I won’t have to worry about her bitching at me. So you still wanna go?”
“Yeah, definitely!” Brooke slammed her locker door, then grabbed onto Brady’s arm and pulled a little to get him to start walking with her. She smiled up at him as they walked and leaned into him with her shoulder. “Yay, Brady! I’m really sorry about Lorylyn, but this is gonna be so much fun!”
***
Lorylyn was walking to her second period class when she passed Brady and Brooke in the hallway. Brooke was smiling, and she leaned into him for a second, saying something Lorylyn couldn’t hear. And of course she looked more beautiful than ever, with her shiny brown hair pulled back just a little right
at the top, and her stylish outfit....Brady smiled down at her, and they laughed.
Lorylyn turned away, pretending not to have seen. She was humiliated. Everyone in the hall was probably looking at her and at Brady and Brooke and wondering what the hell was going on. And by the end of the day Brooke and Brady probably would’ve spread some exaggerated story that made her look like a complete uptight bitch.
She shook her head and stared at the ground, willing the tears to stay back this time. She should’ve known Brady would go running right to Brooke. What had she been thinking when she hoped he wouldn’t? And she’d really thought there was a good chance he might not, too. She should’ve known. How had she been so completely stupid all year? She felt like she’d been walking around with her eyes closed, thinking things were great between her and Brady, while this whole Brooke thing built up. She seen it at Hilton’s birthday party and that day on his email account, but she had deliberately shut her eyes to it.
She tried to remind herself what Jill had said...“Then there’s your answer.” But she didn’t want that to be her answer. That meant she’d been wrong about everything all along...wrong about Brady being a sweet guy, wrong about the two of them being the perfect couple, wrong about not confronting him earlier, wrong about there not being anything between him and Brooke. Just wrong.
chapter 15) the big picture
Todd finished his assignment early in advanced computers the next day, and Jill could tell he was typing on email. She got up to go to the trash can so she could look at his screen when she sat back down. Her stomach turned. He was writing back and forth to Melanie. Just as she’d feared.
“Are you going out with her again this weekend?” she asked as she sat back down, trying to sound casual but glaring at the back of Melanie’s head across the room.
“Nah, probably not,” Todd said without looking up. “I have a double-header, and she has a big invite for track. And Sunday’s Easter.”
“Oh. But you guys have been talking a lot?”
Todd glanced at Jill, as if trying to focus on what she was saying. “No, not really. Just emailing a little.”
“Oh.” Jill turned back to her own computer, ready to burst. So much for “Good Friday.” Then she felt a little guilty, because she hadn’t even given a second thought to Easter yet this year, or to the meaning of Good Friday.